Friday Humor

A little church humor for your Friday:( true stories)

This happened a couple of years ago but it is still funny. I always try to read our bullentin before I get in the service but on this particular day I didn't. I was reminding our congregation of what would be happening that week and I got to the ladies meeting and it read-" Ladies bring your thongs to the meeting this week and we will decorate them together." It seems that sandals are also called "thongs" but I had never heard that. I skipped over that announcement but at the service Sunday night we had a good laugh.

About 9 years ago we were meeting in a old VFW building here in Cartersville. The floors were hardwood and every sound just seemed to echo in the room. Anyway on this particular Sunday I was speaking on Lazarus and his death. I was at the end of my message and I had just a few more verses I was going to read. One of the older men went to cross his legs and he let go of some "gas". I tried to keep going so I looked down at my scripture to read the next verse and this is what I saw- Martha says to Jesus, "By now he stinks". Well you can just imagine the rest!

Hope you have a great day!

Mission

Last night we had the priviledge of having Dan Miller come and speak to our church. Dan is a missionary to Paraguay in South America. He is also from Canada. We have a couple from Canada that attend our church and they are the ones who introduced us to Dan. Just thought I would give you a little background about how a Canadian who lives in Paraguay got to Cartersville. Dan and his family have a camp in Paraguay where they have taken in abandoned children (if you noticed I said abandoned not orphaned). These children have been abandoned by their parents just because they didn't want them. Amazing, isn't it? I cannot imagine what could make someone do that. There is hope because of men and women like Dan who have given their life to make a difference in someone else's life. I have to admit it was not just a little bit challenging but a lot! One of the questions I've been wrestling with is- "what do I do that has eternal benefits? After all isn't that all that will matter? Paul tells us in the letter he wrote to the Corinthians that all our deeds will go through a fire and only the ones that survive will count. Jesus put it this way when He said that when you give, serve, love the least of these you are doing it to Me!

Power of Prayer

Where would you put prayer are your "what's important" list?

I would imagine you would say it's very important! Our church started a 30 day prayer leading up to the election next Tuesday. If you listen to most "christians" you would think that this is the end of the world. They talk about world events like we're helpless and hopeless. If we really believe in God and the power of prayer we wouldn't be scared or frightened but we would be joining together with other believers praying that God would intervene in our nation. Jesus said that where two or three were gathered together in His name, He would be right there with them. To get back to where I started and our prayer service, we have had a average of 6 people come to pray. These 6 people are the ones who come to every service we have at the church, so I'm not surprised. I was talking to a older man that attends another church and he was complaining that his pastor expected them to come to church and Wednesday night and just pray. His point was that he could do that at home. My question to him, "but would you?" I don't believe there is anything that we have as a option that is more powerful than our ability to call on God for His help! I hope you will remember that. God Bless!

Surprise!

Have you ever picked up the newspaper and seen your name in it doing something you didn't know you were supposed to do. I got to experience this surprise this morning. It seems I will be one of the speakers at a funeral tomorrow. Sometimes we get caught off guard and we struggle with the right words to say. At least I have time to prepare. As a pastor I have different ones come up and say things like, "I believe we need to start a food ministry". This really happened several years ago. I told the lady to go home and pray about it because if she wasn't prepared to commit a year of her life to the food ministry we were not going to start it. Should I tell you her response? Yes, I believe I will. She was hurt at me because she felt like I didn't trust her. But she did go home and pray about it and she came back and told me I was right. She realized she wanted me to start a food ministry. We all have good ideas but it seems we want someone else to do the work. So what is my point? My point is be prepared at all times but if you don't have the answer don't be afraid to take the time you need to get the right answer!

GO - BUT GOD.....

It's been a while since my last post and I could give you excuses but I'm sure you're not interested in them so I'll spare you. Every day our lives seem to be changing, don't you agree. Last Sunday I spoke on God asking Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac. If you want to read the story it's in Genesis 22. As I talked I began to feel a urgency in my spirit to ask the church what would God ask us to sacrifice in order for us to be tested? Before we go any further we need to establish "why" God would test us. God doesn't test us to watch us trip and fall but to deepen our capacity to obey Him and also to develop our character. He doesn't need to see "who" we are because He already knows that but "we" need to know who we really are! One observation I made last week is - as you read this story you don't see Abraham trying to reason with God and talk Him out of what He has asked Abraham to do. After God spoke to Abraham, we see the next verse tells us that Abraham got up early the next morning and set out to do what God had asked him to do. Wow! No arguing, no reasoning, no whining! Just complete dependence on God! Have I arrived at this place in my life? No, but I want to, don't you?

Are you really into church?

Bill is having internet trouble at church so I decided to surprise him by updating his blog. Many of you already know me as his wife, but I am so much more. I'm a mom, a bank employee, a sister, a daughter and a friend but mostly you know me as "the pastors wife".



Savoring a role as a pastor's wife, in past times has been, well, unsavory and is a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes I want to stick my head in the sand, but after 10 years I am getting used to the idea although the joy of the role eludes me from time to time. I have seen and heard almost every imaginable story and horror that families can live through and I have seen the joys. I wish I could say that for the most part the joys outweigh the tragedies but I can't.



It's strange. Most people you see only outside the church walls, but still refer to my husband as their "pastor". Some we have only seen in church maybe 5 times in 10 years. They need someone for the "marrying and the burying" and straightening out wayward children after they have allowed them to live as they wanted to with no spiritual example. I have actually heard this. " since my child___________isn't really into church anymore, we are not going to be coming". Sent via email to Bill. We were blindsided by this as this person had just commited to an important role in our church. His children were "ruling the proverbial roost" in his home and he just couldn't take the pressure. These children are 14 and 9. This is not so much about church than it is about an example to lead. This is tragic. We all need to be an example and help our children learn commitment, responsibility and loyalty from us. Afterall, eternity is at stake and we as parents can do nothing about it on the other side, so we must do all we can here.

Go forth and lead,

Deana

“A good example is the best sermon.”
Benjamin Franklin

Walking by Faith

I wanted to share with you an experience Deana and I had today. We went to lunch at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants (if you noticed I said one of our favorite) and for the 2nd time we got to hear some interesting conversation from the booth next to ours. Evidently this lady that was talking was in the mortgage loan business and she was telling her friend about a lady that had come to see her about a loan. Well she began to ask her questions to find out if she qualified for the loan or not. Naturally she wanted to know if the lady had the ability to pay this loan back or not so she asked her if she had a job. The lady told her," no, but she was a christian and God was going to bless her with the house, with this loan officer's help or someone else's." As you know I've been speaking on faith the last few weeks, I need to get this lady to come and share with us on walking by faith, not really. I believe the problem with this scenario is if God told her He was going to give her this house that is one thing- He can do it! But to go and demand a loan on a property that she has no way to pay back is entirely wrong. The loan officer said, I believe she's been watching too much christian tv. I've been using Abraham as our case study in our study on faith. One thing I have noticed, he didn't go around telling everyone that he was blessed of God. No, everywhere he went it seems he left with more than he arrived with. God's blessing seemed to follow him all the days of his life. I stole that last part from David's psalm. I'm a Christian but I shouldn't have to tell people, they should be able to tell just by being around me. What do you think?

All is Well that ends in a WELL!

I'm excited today because tomorrow I will be going to the Catalyst Conference in Atlanta. Last year was my first experience at the conference and I loved it. The music was amazing (if you like the bass thumping, ear ringing type of music, which I do). I am probably the only 47 year old whose son tells him to turn down the volume. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the music and the great speakers. I think the best part of the conference is the challenge that God seems to lay on my heart. How can you take this excitement back home to Cartersville? I'm not talking about the services as much as I am the service! That may not have made sense but the main focus is to give you ideas on how to share God's love in our neighborhoods. Here again, it's not what you say but what you do! Our church started collecting money last year to build a well in Rwanda(Africa) and a couple of weeks ago I announced to our church that we had reached our goal of $3000.00. We are not a large church but I am excited about this accomplishment because we didn't give up. We have always gave to missionaries to take the Gospel to the corners of this world but in building a well we will give life in a practical way and they also get to hear about Jesus! How can you help? I know you were asking that question. We believe this will be the first of many wells that we will be a part of, so if you will like to be apart of the next one let us know.

Annie/ Super Dog

I was walking my dog last Saturday night when I heard someone coming up behind me. I looked around and I saw a little girl riding a bike. As she got closer I could hear her sobbing and I asked her if she was alright? Her response was, "I didn't know it was so dark out here". I introduced her to my "killer dog", Annie ( that name just brings fear to your mind ) and I told her we would walk with her to her house. I can only imagine how she felt the minute she made it to her house. The part that stuck with me was what she said, " I didn't know it was so dark". I believe there a lot of people that are saying the same thing this morning. They can't believe how dark it is. But the great part of this story is there is One who is walking right with us and He said He would never leave us. Believe me, He carries alot more power than Annie does. It amazed me to see how just having someone with her calmed this little girl's fear and knowing I have someone with me all the time should comfort me and calm my fears. Guess what? It does!!

Just one more thought - Look up in the sky, It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's Super Dog! During the day she sleeps 20 hours but when she's awaken she becomes Super Dog! Don't you feel safer now?

Running on Empty

I heard an interesting report yesterday on the radio about our current gas shortage. They said the shortage would continue as long as everyone kept topping off their gas tank. We seem to have a fear of running out of gas. I see a spiritual example in this. I know that may surprise you if you've read any of these blogs! How many people do you know that are as concerned with their spiritual gas tanks as they are with their car's gas tank? I would imagine if we had a way to gauge how much of God we had in us, the light would be bright signaling were empty. Looking at the pumps the other day when I stopped to get gas most cars seemed to have 1/2 to 3/4 of a tank of gas left. Alot of people, let me rephrase that, alot of Christians will go weeks and even months without praying or reading their Bible or even attending church. They don't see a need for those things but let something happen in their lives and the first thing out of their mouths is "why did God let this happen?" God is saying, "Oh do I know you?" Make a commitment today to spend time with God and then when trouble comes you will be prepared!

God will Provide

I had to go to the doctor this morning to have some lab work done. I know you wish you could have started your morning with so much fun but just me and 10 other people were lucky enough! Anyway, I went into the waiting room and there sat a old friend I hadn't seen in a year or so. We talked a while as we waited for our turn. It turns out that he may lose his job in a week if something doesn't happen. He was telling me how nervous and upset his wife was. I know the feeling. Deana finds out next week if she will still be working. A lady yesterday told me that her family was at the point of losing everything and I mean everything. I was just wondering if I had depressed you enough? Honestly that is not my intent! Here's my point and I think King David said it best in Psalms 37:25- "I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging bread." God will provide in every situation. Although it may not be like we want it. The title of Psalms 37 is "Rest in the Lord". I believe that is the best advice I can give. The 2nd thing we need to do is pray one for another because we need the support to help each other stand. Pray but also put legs to our prayers and do for each other. If you have the means to help someone then do it!